Dattebayo Feedback Forum, Volume 4 (Part 2)
2007/12/07
Welcome to Part 2 of Dattebayo's Feedback Forum, Volume 4! Thank you to all of those who sent in responses, as well as all of you who just sent in messages of sympathy after reading the kinds of messages we have to deal with.
Question 1
Subject: naruto
is it shippuuden after episod 220?
Answers:
Amerigo's answer: It's called Wikipedia, man, use it.
Systematic Chaos 713's answer: Your feedback sent me into eternal depression. It seems like I'm going to have to live, work, and raise kids in a culture where no one is intelligent enough to even figure things out on their own when the answer is right out in the open, and it's virtually impossible to miss the clues. For what it's worth, I'm going to climb into my closet right now and write poetry lamenting the intellectual degradation of mankind for the rest of my life.
(I feel like that all the time when reading feedback.)
An anonymous fan responded: How did you manage to spell "Shippuuden" right, but get "episod" wrong?
(Good question.)
Inker answered: No, generally after 220 epi-sod genes in a row, it's a cancerous tumor.
(The fillers were actually malignant.)
Question 2
Subject: hi
hi everyone!
i just wanted to ask why you are not letting anyone upload videos to crunchyroll anymore and if possible can you lift of this ban thanks.
sincerely,
emil
Answers:
An anonymous fan responded:
Hello Emil...
We just want to know why you can't read our press releases, and why is your grammer/spelling so bad thanks.
Another anonymous fan responded: You know Emil, I have a friend named Emil, and he isn't half the retard you are. Crunchyroll is full of Asian porn and Marylin Manson music videos. Last time I checked Naruto and Bleach were not either of those things, it's possible that Pitagora is, but I highly doubt it.
(If it was Pitagora would get waaay more downloads than it does.)
Yet another anonymous fan responded: Crunchyrolls are in fact quite high in sodium, and thus unhealthy for a regular, Dattebayo diet.
Lymerion responds: Flash video is made of fail. This goes for all of these sorts of sites, such as Youtube and Dailymotion. If you're gonna get it for free, you may as well get it for free here, in full quality.
(Our thoughts exactly.)
Question 3
Subject: databayo doesnt love me :(
hI take a time to write to databayo to share my feelings and thoughtfullness and databtyo ignore me
Horrible databayo!
Answers:
Patrick answered: Hello, It is not that "databayo" is ignoring you but that tho they do know more then one language, none of them are fluent in moron and they can not understand what you are saying.
(Maybe we should hire an English/Moron translator?)
An anonymous fan responded: Dattebayo is a fansubbing site, not a therapist for your deep emotional needs. http://www.drphil.com/sho ws/page/contactdrphil/ this website should be helpful in your continuous journey in finding love from an internet source. If you don't find this helpful then there's always a nice hotline to call 1-800-273-TALK. Have a nice day.
Another anonymous fan responded: You must first learn to love yourself before others will love you, grasshopper.
Shawn answered: Awww...go get a dog. They need feedback too.
Question 4
Subject: hi
Hi my name is Alex.
I have a question about The Naruto episodes from 222 to the end of the series...
What number is the final episode of the Naruto series? and why i can't find the episodes from 222 to the end? they didn't appeared yet?
I'm waiting for your answer.
With respect,
Alex.
Answers:
david answered:
There are no more Naruto episodes. You must not have heard the bad news. Naruto was murdered by a rival ninja. It happened off-camera, hence, there is no final episode.
We are sure this news is a great shock to you. It was to us, so much so, that we will never sub anime again. Naruto was actually our cousin.
We probably won't write back. We have to practice our ninja skills now, so we can avenge his murder.
An anonymous fan responded: Naruto ends at 220, if you can find episode 222 then more power to you. Unfortunately you are an idiot.
Question 5
Subject: pokeshmon
pokemons are for twats such as the peoples behind this site
Answers:
An anonymous fan responded: Well after reading your comment I can see that you're too young for Pokemon, but don't worry, when you get older you'll understand.
Another anonymous fan responded: so i heard u liek mudkips. confirm/deny? Lol
Hebi answered: My my... Well if what you say is true and the people behind this operation are 'twats', then I am confused as to what the problem is. Because it's quite apparent sir, that you are a dick. And the way I see it, dicks and twats usually fit quite well together.
Question 6
Subject: ed 36-37
Happy to see that you had released N 36-37 in such short amount time after the RAW was up, I was shocked and dispirited when I actually saw the pathetic attempt of a sub you had made. The best part wasn't even subbed. Why release a double-episode of such a great anime without even translating the cartoon-comic-bubbles in the ending?
Answer:
Vindicator answered: The ending is indeed the best part, you're right. This is why, from now on, we at Dattebayo will stop subbing the actual episodes, but only sub the beginning and the ending. Thank you for the great idea.
(Seriously, why didn't we think of that?!)
Question 7
Subject: wtf
Your an arrogant cocksucker, who the fuck you think you are? i mean come on! you fucking sub anime for fuck sake.
Answers:
An anonymous fan responded:
Repeat after me: Paper or Plastic
If you got that wrong: Would you like fries with that?
Another anonymous fan responded: Yes, we do sub anime for fuck's sake. Thank you for your compliments
DTim answered:
Dear Satisfied Rage-a-holic,
We think we are better then you in every possible sense!
(He said it, not us.)
Mr.Koala answered: Is there a better sake to sub anime for than fuck sake?
(I can't think of one.)
Question 8
Subject: anime
i don't like the fact that you have a monopoly over naruto anime subbing. do you do this on purpose because it seems that you are the only people that dub naruto and i don't like your customer service. i think your company is extremely rude and in breach of competition policy, any to put it simply you are extremely up your selves.
Answers:
Many, many people pointed out DB could not have a monopoly by definition, since that would mean that we would have had to have used coercive action to shut down other subbing groups (OK, I guess that is technically possible, but please) or have government endorsement (unlikely since what we do is illegal in most countries). Many others pointed out that a simple Google search will show you there are about 50 other groups subbing Naruto at this time in various languages.
An anonymous fan responded: Are you an idiot? Seriously Dattebayo isn't the only group subbing Naruto. Fansubbing is free and groups choose what to sub. The only possible way for Dattebayo to monopolize Naruto is to create Monopoly Fansub Edition. You need to be sterilized, or else I fear for the Earth.
Another anonymous fan responded: This is technically a free service. Nothing is being exchanged here (other than bad words and horrible grammar)in exchange for what is possibly one third of your life (the other two thirds are undoubtedly Bleach and masterbation).
Yet another anonymous fan answered: I met a guy who was up himself once. It involved some risky surgery and a penchant for apotemnophilia. I hear it makes fansubbing quite hard to do, actually.
Question 9
This one probably generated more responses than the other eight combined. For the sake of brevity I have taken the funniest snippets out of the responses we received. It was encouraging to know that the vast majority of our downloaders realize that we are not, in fact, inhuman mutants that live in the internet and feed off torrent downloads.
This was his original message:
Subject: "Hello ungrateful retards/leechers"
Instead of making a proper discussion board
you make useful fascistic anouncements, well done
retards ?
so you are biting the hand that feeds you ?!
oh yeah and be a 10 yo spoiled brat and ban me
To which I sent this reply:
Subject: Re: "Hello ungrateful retards/leechers"
You obviously don't understand the meaning of the phrase "bite the hand that feeds". In order for that to be applicable, we would have to be getting something in return from our fans. We get nothing in return for subbing the episodes. I suggest that people like you who send us nasty comments are the ones that are biting the hand that feeds them, since someday we might get fed up with the ungrateful leechers and quit fansubbing.
lafnear
DB Staff
He then submitted this:
Subject: “The hand that feeds”
“The hand that feeds”
YOU exist because WE the leeches and WE the retards click your site and download your episodes, so don’t get ahead of yourself. Your attitude is the ungrateful one, if you weren’t doing such popular anime, you would HAVE to do things such as a forum and stop talking to people arrogantly from your high horse.
PLEASE DO STOP doing Naruto and Bleach, it won’t take long for a better group to take it up; and you know that. Who do you think you are?!
YOU TAKE THE RESPECT THAT YOU GIVE. You are not irreplaceable. We are very grateful to most fansubbers but they understand what they do, it is me or the next guy who likes Japanese series that’s involved in fansubbing. And simply the number of hits of a group’s torrents IS WHAT KEEPS THE GROUP ALIVE and what they get in return.
I have seriously never seen such discontent for another group, and the comments you get simply reflect that. We do owe you something, but you owe us more.
Thank you for taking the time to answer
Gaara
Answers:
An anonymous fan responded: Actually, we exist because at some point in the past, our parents were inordinately fond of each other and "did the nasty".
Azumax makes a couple of good points:
1. Fucking speak for yourself. What's this "we" business? I hope I'm not being arrogant, but I don't enjoy being grouped together with retarded trash who cannot find an alternative emotional outlet to vent upon.
2. CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL. And you, my friend, are definitely not cool.
Azumax also came up with this charming vignette:
You: lawl, lyk u kno, i r gr8ful and shit 4 wut u've done so far, but i - u kno - think ur n0t doin enuffz.
DB: This relationship isn't working out.
You: lulz wut ._.?
DB: It's not you, it's me. ... No, actually it's you.
You: but ...
DB: Don't call me. I'll call you.
You: cant we work this ou-
DB: B& HAMMER!
An anonymous fan translated Gaara's comments for the rest of us:
here's what your message read like to native English speakers:-
'I am stupid, please stab me in the face with an ice knife'
Silvarna has some recommendations for Gaara:
Step 1. You will need: 1 container of petrol, 1 box of matches, your computer. Take the bottle of petrol and pour it on your computer. Then take the box of matches, light a match and throw it onto your doused computer. Walk away.
Step 2. After completing step 1, consult your GP on ways of effectively removing yourself from the gene pool.
A fan who signed his comments "The collective DB fanbase" has this advice to offer to Gaara: You should probably kill yourself. Preferrably with a rusty spoon. Perhaps a dull knife.
Final Words
Here is one final submission which covers all of the above submissions, all of our past hatemail, and all of our future hatemail.
Dear Dipshits,
I cannot even begin to describe my horror and disgust for you, you ignorant fucks.
First of all, stop watching anime and go back to school. There the fine instructors will teach you the grammatical difference between words like there, their, and they're. Furthermore, your education will include such gems as "learn to capitalize the first word of a sentence." I understand this is a difficult concept, but really, all it takes is pressing the shift key.
Along with the whole concept of learning proper capitalization you will learn about punctuation. Proper punctuation is key to conveying intelligent ideas and quality queries. You'll learn about alliteration - like that used in the previous sentence - and you'll learn about assonance, which are both useful tools literate people use to bitchslap morons like yourselves.
Grammar, too, will be taught to you in those hallowed halls of learning. It's one thing to accidentally switch verb tenses from one paragraph to the next, but quite another when a lack of what Agatha Christie's Poirot used to call "the little grey cells" causes you to place two different verb tenses together in not only the same sentence but literally back to back.
Ah yes, and literary references, too, will be handed down for your edification. You will learn who Hercule Poirot is, how to properly pronounce his name so you don't sound like a fucktard at social gatherings, and why the literary legacy of such authors as Agatha Christie are vital to understanding the humor in modern television shows. Shows like the anime subbed by this fine company.
You will learn when it is ok to break literary rules for the sake of emphasis. You'll become aware that there's a large difference between laziness and deliberate flouting of grammatical rules. You might even find a date other than Rosy Palm and her five friends. Though this last I doubt seriously.
Second, and finally, do not bother the fine staff of Dattebayo with your stupid questions. They are not your personal shit monkeys. Google is a wonderful tool. There are also chat rooms full of idiots out there; an AoLer like you knows that when you stick 30 equally stupid anime fans like yourself in a room with a brainless question, one of you fuckwits will stumble on the answer.
The fine staff of Dattebayo is providing you with a free service. They don't get paid for their work. They don't owe you anything. In fact, they take great amusement in your personal stupidity. The coin for their work is paid in laughter; they're laughing at the idiots like you who send unintelligible letters and who fall for their trolls.
Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time.
Sincerely,
An Idiot Who Can't Figure Out How To Get BitComet to Relist All These Fucking DB Episodes I've Put In Sub-Folders